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Published on:

17th Jun 2025

Connecting Our Hearts & Minds

Bilvavi Bitachon Chabura with Aveeshi Lev - Shiur 5

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Transcript
Speaker A:

Alrighty.

Speaker A:

So tonight we're going to discuss the.

Speaker A:

The act of calmly detaching from this world, as he puts it in Bulavi.

Speaker A:

And the ichor is going to be primarily focused on how we take some of the lessons we've learned in the previous chaburas around the ability to do chuva in the moment, the ability to make time on remembering our creator throughout the day.

Speaker A:

And now we're going to have an opportunity to talk about how we actually put some of that in motion from a behavior standpoint.

Speaker A:

And the point I want to make to the group is when we look at our two most important parts of our body that Hashem created us with, and obviously every part is important, but the heart and the mind are the two things that without either one, we're doa and we can't operate or function.

Speaker A:

And both of those things are only kept healthy with constant attention to those parts of your body through not only physical improvement, physical health, but also regarding the spiritual health of both.

Speaker A:

If you have shame, guilt, pain on your heart, you're affected completely.

Speaker A:

Your mind is affected for sure, but your whole existence is affected.

Speaker A:

Everything you manifest is affected, all the energy around you is affected.

Speaker A:

And if your head is not clear, then the same rules apply where you're distracted and you're in pain and you're irritable.

Speaker A:

Discontent not present.

Speaker A:

And the problem that we face is that not that everyone in the world or people in general are all messed up in the head or in the heart, people go through all sorts of things and overcome them, but we don't get taught we how to properly take care of those things in a way that allows us to connect to our higher power, to Hashem, to our religion in a way that's meaningful and tangible, to Avodah Hashem, to Lima Ra, Torah, to all the connection elements that we've talked about until now, because unfortunately, those two things don't get work done without a lot of hard work and intention.

Speaker A:

And if we believed fully that the physical disposition of both of these things are terribly in need of nurturing, and if we don't do that, like if we didn't physically care for ourselves and our hearts stopped, we would die.

Speaker A:

If we had the same ability to connect that to our spiritual self, we would be able to clear up quite a bit of spiritual malady.

Speaker A:

And so what Bhavavi is going to talk about today is the ability to properly, consistently and intentionally take very good care of the heart and mind.

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And that if we don't have those intentions as Part of our avoda, the rest of our avoda remains fleeting.

Speaker A:

We talked about that.

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We talked about the fact that a lot of times the end result isn't a means to an end.

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It's just the end result of all sorts of steps that need to be taken from a habitual standpoint, that need to ultimately change in order for us to have a different outcome.

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We constantly want the same outcome.

Speaker A:

I'm 40.

Speaker A:

I've wanted similar outcomes for things for 40 years that I still haven't changed about myself because I'm not willing, able mindlessness to take care of those things in a way that I need to in order to nurture them.

Speaker A:

And there's other things that I've taken very good care of and have made, you know, changes in my life that have been impactful and meaningful to me that I thought never would happen.

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So like we talked about last week, we're very, very quick to judge ourselves and hate on ourselves, but we also have to give ourselves the opportunity to give love to ourselves if we're going to give love to others.

Speaker A:

And obviously we all know that living from a place of true ava for the world, for people, for everything that goes on every single minute, even in the darker times that we're experiencing now, and this sure should be a refua for Tinak Benchana, but even for the elements of the world that we're seeing now, it's our opportunity to still find the good within it.

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And that doesn't happen by just saying we're going to find the good within it.

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There's this distance between the desired state and our current state of affairs.

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And it remains hard to get to that without taking concrete steps to do some of those things.

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So just to remind the group listening, the group here calmly detaching from this world and being able to take care of our heart and mind is an intentional act.

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It's part of our day.

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It's like brushing our teeth, it's like washing our hands, except it takes longer and it takes more focus.

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And because we have to do it, it forces us into a place of surrender, which forces us into bitachon.

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It's all connected.

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But when we finally take the time to invest in detachment, when we finally take the time to invest in our heart and mind in a real spiritual way, also the physical, the exercise, the ability to have the healthy spikes in dopamine and the healthy spikes in sweat and working out and exercise and schmitzing in general, not only from a spiritual standpoint, but also from a physical standpoint.

Speaker A:

Heart, mind, body and soul are able to do those things, we end up with a completely different reality.

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And so hopefully tonight we'll be able to talk about some more steps in which, if we were able to apply even some of them, things could radically change for us in our lives.

Speaker A:

But we have to apply these steps.

Speaker A:

This is the recipe, at least what I believe, based on the Torah of Belovi Mishken Ebna, not the Torah of Avisha Lev.

Speaker A:

There is no such thing.

Speaker A:

Okay, so page 33 in Belvavi, part 4.

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Calmly detaching from this world before we actually reflect, we must first be very happy and calm inside.

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So as I said it before, he breaks down the habit to the habit to the habit.

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He goes all the way down to the level of detail needed in order for us to tangibly hold ourselves accountable.

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Because they're action steps that are fully within our control.

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These are not esoteric goals.

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These are tangible focus areas for us to be able to tweak and modify.

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We have explained that each person must set aside at least once a week, time for introspection.

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During this time one should think of the vanity of this world and how being tied to this world takes our mind from thinking about what's important.

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In this chapter, we will explain at length about how a person can disconnect from the strong attachment to the physical world.

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When a person is sitting and reflecting about the Creator, even if he has put a halt to the noise of his daily actions, it's still hard to calm down from everything.

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When a person lacks inner calm, he won't be able to properly reflect into matters, and he won't get to the desired goal.

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Inner calm is the same thing as us needing to take breaths and eat food and go to the bathroom.

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We have to be able to give ourselves space to achieve inner calm, which means sitting without distraction, alone for periods of time throughout the day so we can breathe and get present enough to know that everything goes okay, everything is good, and that Hashem is in complete control of everything that's going on in our lives.

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If we don't take those steps to quiet the noise, we will always be operating at less than 100% or even close to 100%.

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So what we have to know firstly is how we can get to that Nero kam in order to be able to think properly.

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The first thing we can suggest for this is a person shouldn't attempt to jump right into heavy thinking about Teshuvah and improving Avodah Hashem.

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I want to read that again.

Speaker A:

The first thing we can suggest for this is that a person shouldn't attempt to jump straight into heavy thinking about chuvah and improving avodah hashem.

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How much programming have we put into ourselves to say that if I just fix this, all my future issues won't show up?

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If I just corrected and took on different aspects of my.

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That we will be able to get a different result?

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And for some, you can.

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And they have that strength of being able to take on certain things and for those to make change.

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But for some, there's a lot of heart work that needs to be done in order to get their mind to a place that even sets the fertile ground that they can pollinate their future within in order to properly set the stage for meaningful, lasting change.

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Because they just can't show up to the party without being prepped for the party.

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They can't show up to life as if a regular person, or what we'll call regular or different, can show up and just go with the flow.

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I'm married to a woman who can go with the flow.

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She just goes with the flow and she's truly okay and she doesn't need therapy and need any sort of prep time.

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She can just go in at it and take care of business.

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Myself, very different.

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I have to get my mind right.

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I have to set the stage for myself each day or very, very quickly.

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The things between my ears start making a ton of noise that end up being distracting and very hard to manage.

Speaker A:

So for the avoda, for us, is for people that are more spiritually inclined and need to do the heart work that they don't jump right into chuva and Avedas hashem, that we set the table first and he's going to talk about that.

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Rather, for the first 15 minutes of this time, you should sit calmly, Just sit with it.

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This is not just to be idle, it is to be calm as preparation for doing teshuvah and improving one's avedas hashem.

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The goal is not mundane.

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The goal is to get closer and to feel the closeness and to get pleasure from the feeling of the closeness.

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But it's distant without the reset.

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One should think to himself very calmly that he's preparing to do chuvah.

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You're able to get to a place of calm.

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50 breaths, 10 breaths, 5 breaths.

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The breath is massively powerful.

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Get yourself to a place where you're okay.

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And yes, when you're in the middle of turmoil or crisis, it's not going to be the place where you could say, I've tried and it's too hard.

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There are times where there's no crisis, where you wake up and the day is in front of you.

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And the only thing that's triggering any sort of concern is your own mind, because it's creating anxieties that don't yet exist.

Speaker A:

After 15 minutes, when he's already somewhat calmed, he began to think about what he has to think about in the way we've explained in previous chapters.

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Hashem, I love you.

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I know you hear me.

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I know you're here with me right now.

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I've got a crazy brain.

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I've got a crazy heart.

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It's filled with taiva and distraction and wanting of physicality and wanting of more distraction and more and more and more.

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And I know that as I chase those, I get further away from the truth.

Speaker A:

And I know that when I'm at a place of calm and I have true menucha nefesh for the moments of time that I actually have, that things start to get a whole lot better in my life.

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But I can't seem to hold on to that enough, and I just want to hold on to it for a little bit more.

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And I can only do that with you.

Speaker A:

I can only do that by holding on to you and keeping you extremely close as my shoes in everything that I do.

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And you're not going to be my shut off by being distant or me talking to you three times a day when I go to shul, if that you're going to be close to me because I'm going to involve you after meetings.

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And when I make brachas, I'm going to actually make brachas.

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And when I'm going through a rough time throughout the day, I'm going to take a minute and detach and go outside in the beautiful weather and be able to say, okay, take it, take it.

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Help me see it clearly.

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And then when I'm not able to talk, I'm going to be there in calm and I'm going to listen and I'm going to go from his to his baytidus and I'm going to just be there.

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I'm going to sit with that taiva of those things I want to eat, or the shmira sey na I don't want to hold on to, or the kinyunasachta I don't want to chazer or talking to my wife in a certain way, or being patient with her or dealing with my sholem bias.

Speaker A:

That's been difficult, but really trying to take the leap and just be able to surrender to that and be available fully for my wife and the full masculine energy that I'm supposed to be having and to make sure that my kids are heard and I'm not distracted on my phone and that I can actually show up for them.

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I have so much Hashem that I need to do, and I can't do it without you.

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How is it possible?

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I said it in one of the early shurim, I said, I sometimes go to Hashem and say hashem.

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It's just.

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It's.

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It's not.

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You're not setting it up for success for me.

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I have a lot of good things.

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I'm not even complaining about that.

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Thank you.

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But this level of connection that in order for me to have anuchas hanafesh is.

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It's a major moat in between that and where I'm at.

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And I have a million things I have to do.

Speaker A:

How am I supposed to have calmness of mind?

Speaker A:

What does Hashem say back?

Speaker A:

I don't know.

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But what do I hear back from Hashem?

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Make it a priority.

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If nuchas and nefesh is that important, make it a priority.

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If money is more important, then make chasing money more a priority.

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It's up to you.

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I can have Tevah or I can do Lamale Amena Teva.

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If you want lamale Amena Teva, you gotta invest in Lama Teva behavior.

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If you want Tevah, then you gotta invest in tevah behavior.

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But the choice is ultimately ours.

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Chayvasa Lavava says it loud and clear.

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If we want to live above Tevah, then we have to behave above Teva.

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If we don't want to live above Teva, then we don't.

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How do we live above Tevah is when we're working on setting ourselves up and setting ourselves up to what?

Speaker A:

To be a better Eret Hashem, which means to learn Torah, to connect to hashem's mitzvahs, to be able to be a better person in the world and to live from a place of ava, of true love, of being able to express that.

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There's another suggestion that's advisable here, and it's double the gain.

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That is that one should think, maybe today is my last day on earth.

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Don't be depressed about this.

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It should instead make you feel happy inside.

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How can such a thought make you happy?

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How can you not become morbid when you think about such a thing?

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The solution to this both involves both superficial approach and an internal approach.

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We can give one piece of advice that can help a person reach general calm as well as doing chuva as a way to awaken your happiness in a way that doesn't cause any sadness.

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Page 34 Step 1 Physical calmness.

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The advice is that after 15 minutes of sitting quietly, it would be good to listen to a stirring song that stems from a pure source.

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Not a sad song or a loud song, no getta, but a niggin that expresses yearnings for something that can awaken your soul.

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There is much gain from this, and anyone who tries this can attest to how helpful it is.

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What is the gain from this?

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Firstly, the niggin can make you calm, and this is already a tool that can help you free yourself of previous thoughts that have piled up in your head from the whole day and the week again.

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You have a Gudal Mamish, a Yerushalmi Jew who learned in Panavic, telling us that in order to properly show up in the world, we have to use music which affects us all in positive ways to get ourselves ready to show up properly for Avodas Hashem.

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So for those who have struggled with just learn more, just show up to DAV and just do and haven't been able to consistently hold on to it.

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Can we say that maybe it's because we haven't set the table and that if we set it up the way he's talking, and this is an example, those goals which need to be achieved that aren't always going to come through me wanting to do them.

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That's the difference, the finite difference that Mairav is very into and I agree with him on, which is you don't always have to want to do what you have to do.

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Gemara isn't always going to be what you want when you want to open up a bilvavi or another safer, but you're going to have to do those things, but depending on where you're holding doing Gemara with Panemius and the ability to connect prior knowing that these are the words of hashem coming to you or learning mishnaburu hilchasabism, what to do about coal surrounding a pot.

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And that doesn't speak to you, but you know that the halachas are mamish, the fabric of who we are, and if we follow them we can create a sense of holiness that we can physically feel based on the teachings of the Volley.

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But in order to be able to connect to that deeply, for some it's not just the interest intellectually in that, because that may not be the mission for them, but it's got to come through the heart, it's got to come through the ability to show up with presence, presence of mind.

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So he's giving us the tools to the tools to the tools, which is so incredible and relieving at least for a guy like me, that for so long and continues to just struggle at the ability to show up fully for my Yiddishkeit.

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And I'm now given medicine that I can utilize to hopefully get, you know, slightly more consistent with what I'm doing.

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And it's a roller coaster.

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It's a roller coaster for me.

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And you know, this shira is just as much for me as it is for anybody else.

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Although it's superficial joy at this point and not yet inner joy, it's still better than nothing.

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Bringing the Chitzanias into the panemius.

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It can help you reflect properly and cause you to feel inner joy throughout the rest of your day.

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So you start your day instead of starting your day with your phone or starting your day and running to Nagalvasa or Patrick, you have to do but running to Nagalvasra mindlessly instead of being able to show up and be there for your children in a positive way or get to Sholin Daven or let's say you go to the gym early.

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This was my recent battle.

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I know the only time I successfully go to the gym is if I go in the morning before davening.

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It's early.

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My davening is at 7:45, 11, 7:15.

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So that means I got to go to a 5:30 to 6:30 workout and then get home, shower and be ready.

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Which means that when am I fitting in my hisputidus and Hispanic before the day starts?

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4:45-5:15.

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It's brutal and it's hard and it's not always consistent.

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But I know that that's the only way that I set myself up for the most success I can have.

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Because as later things go on, as later things happen throughout the day that aren't all positive, at least they're not all revealed good, they're challenging.

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I can hack it versus when I don't do that and the idea that the opportunity to hack it goes a lot less than it is originally.

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If I do the this is the superficial part of the job.

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Listening to a stirring melody which helps you calm down physically.

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Step two is calmly letting go of this world.

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What is the inner part that brings you to joy?

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The Choe writes that a righteous person awaits the day of death.

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How can a person look forward to his death?

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Do people suffer so much in the world they'd rather die.

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The answer is this, though, is very simple.

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The answer to this, though, is very simple.

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A person can actually look forward to his day of death out of a desire to have a true life.

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The avoda of desiring one's day of death is really about desiring life, the right kind of life on this world.

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Let us explain why to what we are aspiring for in this world.

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If a person just wants a lot of money or to have great kids, which can also be a physical desire, he's very connected to this world and has no desire whatsoever to want to leave this world.

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When the time comes to leave this world, he will be very, very sad about this.

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Such a true statement.

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But if a person has already in his lifetime developed a deep desire to connect to the Creator, and they'll only seek the truth, both in the internal world of the soul as well as the physical earth he lives on.

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Such a person naturally has yearnings for a more angelic worldly world of the soul.

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He naturally longs to leave this world of falsity and to connect to a better world of truth.

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A person knows that if he has to overcome the lies of this world, that even if he has overcome the lies of this world, he is still affected by the foul smells of this world's falsehood.

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And he wants to run away from even this, and thus longs for the world of truth.

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It's an incredibly high level.

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But we can tap into that world of truth through the calmness of the mind, through being really okay.

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Because you're living in a state of deep breath, because you're living in a state of connection.

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The change of the mindset can only come to a person on condition that he searches for truth in this world in his lifetime.

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It can't come suddenly to a person when it's time to leave this world.

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The attitude has to be developed before already in one's lifetime.

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The real reason why people fear death.

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Let us be more specific about what we mean here.

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A person is sitting and reflecting, and then he realizes that one day he might suddenly die.

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Chas Vashem and he will leave this world.

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He feels sad.

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What does he do to relieve this feeling?

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He might go to drink some wine.

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Chazal indeed say that wine can take away the fear of death.

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Although this is true, it's just acting superficially.

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A person has to develop his internal world.

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What's the inner approach?

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But a person should really do is think calmly and ask himself, why am I afraid to die?

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If Elio Hanavi would come to me and offer me a choice.

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Either go to the world of truth or stay here.

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What would I choose?

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What would I really answer?

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I don't know.

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I don't know myself.

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I used to joke with a friend all the time that, like, right before, like, a business deal maybe worked out, it's like, okay, like, I want Mashiach to come.

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I just want Mashiach to come, like, after the business deal is done.

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As if, like, that money's gonna help me, you know?

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Trust me, it wasn't being thought of as, like, I'm gonna get killer karbonis.

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When the Beis hamikdash is here, it's something much more material than that.

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There were great tzadikim who didn't want to die, though, and examples of vilnagayim who said that he doesn't want to die, but not for any of the reasons that we have.

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His reason was because he wanted to continue serving Hashem on this world as opposed to being dead.

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When a person can't do any more mitzvahs, he has no personal desires.

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He didn't want to die because it would be mean.

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Being free of mitzvahs.

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Hashem made people born with a natural fear of death.

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The root of this fear actually is rooted in a holy feeling from our neshama, which fears the true death, A life that is disconnected from the Creator.

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Now, that is death.

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If everything is elokos and everything is imbibed with elokos, and we know we are, it's how this whole thing functions and how our consciousness exists, then deep, deep, deep down, that would make sense.

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And when we sever the connection after death, there's tremendous loss.

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We would imagine that there would be a tremendous fear of loss.

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It is written in you shall cleave to Hashem your God and shu.

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You shall be alive.

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Today, having Devakis with Hashem means that we are truly alive.

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And without Devakis, we're basically living a deathlike kind of existence.

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Our soul is truly scared of this kind of death.

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Because to be disconnected from Hashem is like being cut off from a source.

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And there's no greater death in this.

Speaker A:

Because the dopamine rush of being given deref eretz, or depositing a lot of money in your account or buying something expensive or driving something expensive or traveling somewhere expensive, dopamine rush of excitement, of honor gaiva of having of morism is so unbelievably strong, and yet you see people downgrading their lives and running to Eretz Yisrael in the middle of a war to make aliyah.

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Because they tried it here and they've tried grabbing on to everything they can to fill the void within them.

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And they tried to fix the void within them by trying to learn more and daven more and connect more.

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But there was inner noise that prevents that from occurring in a way that is lasting.

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And if we don't clear the inner noise, obviously we won't get to a place of being able to have some of the clarity we're talking about.

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But more than that is that we'll literally wake up at 60 years old, 70 years old, especially, even if we've had a life of tremendous success, and just say, is that this is it, this is, this is it.

Speaker A:

I mean, I've got, you know, how many years left, like, this is it.

Speaker A:

How painful that has to be.

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But it doesn't have to be.

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You can still enjoy all those things by elevating them through kedusha, by elevating them through presence in the Vegas of Hashem.

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Everything has an opportunity to elevate.

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That's what we are as Yiddin.

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We elevate the mundane.

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We.

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We don't try to cut ourselves off from that.

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We try to elevate it.

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But we can only do that when we have the opportunity to get ourselves to a place of no mind, no thinking, calm presence.

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The soul comes down onto this world and gets clothed by the body and the soul feeling of a person as well as clothed by the body.

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So a person often feels his soul's messages as bodily feelings.

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I just.

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I don't feel good in myself.

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I gotta go.

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And then we go distract ourselves.

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We go, ichitaiva.

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We go run to something that's going to give us some sort of gratification.

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And the hamster wheel goes.

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And while we're not impressing anyone else, though we think we are.

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I mean, that's the thing.

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We think, like, if we have more, that we'll impress more.

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Someone said to me, he was speaking to a shotgun and he's like, I don't understand.

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I have money.

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Like, why is it so hard for my daughter to get married?

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He's telling this to Shakam.

Speaker A:

Shachem said, dude, everyone has money now.

Speaker A:

It's not like a thing.

Speaker A:

Hashem has graced Klal Yisroel with tremendous means.

Speaker A:

It's like, it's not the thing people talk about, like growth and inner growth and inner work.

Speaker A:

It used to be a very non manly thing.

Speaker A:

You couldn't talk about.

Speaker A:

This stuff was very taboo.

Speaker A:

Who cares?

Speaker A:

Because at this point, both in the secular world and in the Yiddish world, it's here.

Speaker A:

The Baalsham Tov's way of operating.

Speaker A:

The BAAL Shem Tov's operating system is here for the people that feel the need to cleave to it.

Speaker A:

And the only books on any of the books reading lists out in the general public that are growing print books is self help books.

Speaker A:

Everything else is shrinking.

Speaker A:

Self help books continue to grow.

Speaker A:

And we think we live in this hugely troubled world.

Speaker A:

We actually live in a world that's awakening.

Speaker A:

We just have to be able to show up for that awakening ourselves too, really.

Speaker A:

The death of the body would begin the soul's life.

Speaker A:

But more emphasis a person places on his body's life and not his soul's life, the more death his soul experiences.

Speaker A:

We have to kill the ego.

Speaker A:

We have to kill the ego.

Speaker A:

We have to be able to look ourselves in the mirror and be able to say to ourselves, like, I'm the problem.

Speaker A:

I'm the one that needs to work on myself.

Speaker A:

It's not.

Speaker A:

I'm not speaking in generalities.

Speaker A:

I'm not speaking in healthy situations.

Speaker A:

It's not my boss, it's not my friends, it's not my wife, it's not my ruv.

Speaker A:

It's me.

Speaker A:

I'm taking the world in in a negative way.

Speaker A:

I'm not real enough with myself that realizes I need to make change.

Speaker A:

And so I'll continue to burn bridges or separate myself or blame the world and hope that they change because they haven't seen the light yet.

Speaker A:

Versus the ability to kill the ego enough to know that we're really not what we think we are.

Speaker A:

We don't have to be like.

Speaker A:

We don't have to be anybody to anyone except the full, truest version of ourselves.

Speaker A:

Our ability to connect with Hashem, not because Hashem needs anything from us.

Speaker A:

We said it before, he doesn't need anything from us.

Speaker A:

He gave us the opportunity to live a certain way at a higher level and to show up in the world in a higher level for our benefit.

Speaker A:

He wants to shower us with pleasure.

Speaker A:

He's giving us a recipe that you can't get that instant gratification.

Speaker A:

Because real pleasure can never be brought through the instant gratification.

Speaker A:

But we have the opportunity to get ourselves to a place where we can crush the physical so we can get the soul's love life to a whole different playing field.

Speaker A:

And we see this in certain people.

Speaker A:

You see this in Godalam.

Speaker A:

You see this in people.

Speaker A:

You see this in Hasidim, you see this in.

Speaker A:

You see this in.

Speaker A:

You see this in the secular world with certain people that are living these highly spiritual, connected lives.

Speaker A:

We don't, you know, we don't have a monopoly on Hashem.

Speaker A:

Hashem is the creator of everything.

Speaker A:

But there's this massive ability to live differently if we so choose to do do that by crushing the physical self in a way that's healthy, not in a way that makes it bad.

Speaker A:

It's just not the leading factor in our lives.

Speaker A:

All right, we'll finish up here.

Speaker A:

Thus, the fear of death is really a message from the soul which fears spiritual death.

Speaker A:

So when a person fears death, he should ask himself where the fear is coming from.

Speaker A:

There are many reasons why a person fears death, but most of the time they stem from being so tied to this world because people are scared to leave the world.

Speaker A:

Vanities.

Speaker A:

Some people are very connected to their families, and they fear what it would be like to be separated forever from their family.

Speaker A:

Others are very tied to their money and fear death because that would mean no more money.

Speaker A:

Everyone has their own natural reason to fear death.

Speaker A:

Therefore, every person should ask himself to what am I really connected to in this world?

Speaker A:

This is the true test.

Speaker A:

Even if we weren't aware, aren't aware consciously what the reason is.

Speaker A:

We have to feel, figure out what's going on in our subconscious, the very depths of our soul.

Speaker A:

We have to put our brains under construction.

Speaker A:

Guys, we have to literally put our brains under construction.

Speaker A:

We have to put tape around it, a fence around it at certain points of the day, because our brain's just operating freely without any sort of guardrails.

Speaker A:

Speaking for myself, not a huge chance of joy and serenity.

Speaker A:

Therefore, every person should ask the one am I really connected?

Speaker A:

This is the truth test.

Speaker A:

Even if we aren't aware consciously, we have to figure out what's going on in our subconscious, the very depths of our neshama.

Speaker A:

This will help.

Speaker A:

When our time eventually comes to leave this world, we'll be able to pull away easily from our connection to the physical world.

Speaker A:

Okay, so just to summarize, in order to show up and do teshuvah and do his boydidus and do his baynanas and to do lima ra tora and to daven.

Speaker A:

There are people in this world, and most likely this is speaking to many.

Speaker A:

But I can't speak for everyone that in order to show up to the main show, they have to prepare for the main show.

Speaker A:

And the way to prepare through that is through an approach of psychosocial.

Speaker A:

Change where we can deeply make time to let our brains find quiet internally, our neshamas to be able to find quiet.

Speaker A:

If we're not willing to do that, then the repetitive cycle that we're on of trying to get to a different reality where we feel more joy will always remain out of reach, just like anything else.

Speaker A:

If we're able to get ourselves onto a different hamster wheel that doesn't move very quickly, but we just take one step in front of the other, and by doing that, that gets this other hamster wheel churning also.

Speaker A:

So you've got one that controls the other, that controls the other, that controls the other.

Speaker A:

Then all of a sudden we have a chance to find that joy and serenity because we've learned the tools that we need in order to get ourselves there.

Speaker A:

And this is Tyra that's giving this to us.

Speaker A:

This is not coming from anywhere but Tyra.

Speaker A:

Everything of Itamar talks about is directly from the Tyra.

Speaker A:

This isn't some Freudian theories, though.

Speaker A:

Some of it I'm sure Freud took from the Torah.

Speaker A:

But ultimately this is where it's at as far as getting to a place where we can show up and be there for the ones we care about.

Speaker A:

And I'll just finish off with this last thing.

Speaker A:

The people that I respect the most are the people that show up as men for their families, for their shoals, for their community, give of their time, give of their effort.

Speaker A:

And those people that have really worked on themselves, whether they've consciously or unconsciously done it this way, their inner engines is just working because they've worked on that piece.

Speaker A:

Chitzonias ends up being far removed.

Speaker A:

Second, like, some of the things that some of the guys that I know that have worked on themselves and gals, the materialism and things that they were seeking for validation of their external selves, just.

Speaker A:

It's not that they started looking schleppy and gross.

Speaker A:

They look very good.

Speaker A:

But like, instead of needing the Mercedes, they just.

Speaker A:

They have, you know, another nice car that isn't that.

Speaker A:

It's just they don't need to prove that.

Speaker A:

They don't need to prove where they're going or how they're getting there or any of those things.

Speaker A:

Then they may have all that, but it's just so not the main thing.

Speaker A:

It's so not their identity.

Speaker A:

And so hopefully we can find our identity in a way that's going to be meaningful to ourselves, to our families, to Hashem and, you know, to everyone around us.

Speaker A:

We'll continue trying.

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About the Podcast

Avodas HaLev
Pnimiyus HaTorah - Chicago
Avodas HaLev is sharing pnimiyus HaTorah to the Chicago community and the world.

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Aaron Toledano